Resolving Infertility
"When you bury your broken dreams and pain in the soil of Gods will, you will eventually reap a miracle" Angela Marquez
This thought came to me after watching the Odd life of Timothy Green. A far fetched but thought provoking movie about a couple wanting to adopt. I say it's far fetched because my husband and have gone through 4 different agencies and know good and well that one of the most important parts of the application and interview process is the part where they make sure you're not crazy. I'm pretty sure this couple would have been turned away.
When the movie ended my mind was in a whirlwind and I came to the conclusion that maybe it was not so far fetched. When you bury your broken dreams and pain in the soil of Gods will, you will eventually reap a miracle. If we can box all of hurts and dreams up and bury them in Gods plan for our life we will reap, it may not be what we had envisioned, but He will give us a harvest.
Our first foster child had just come and gone and the wound was still fresh, my feelings still raw, yet I knew in this season that God was with me. I have come to a new understanding about infertility through this emotional journey and it is the conclusion that infertility cannot be resolved. It's a question we have answered on many adoption applications. I've always answered yes, but now I believe that it cannot be resolved, only forgotten.
Forgotten that is until some destined event brings it up. It happened for me 11 years we adopted our son. Caleb came to us after 3 long years of being on a waiting list. We had been traveling through the U.S. on our missionary furlough.
Weekly, well meaning Pastors wives, trying to make small talk would ask how many children we had, then they would ask how long we've been married followed by the inevitable look of pity.
One week at church somewhere in the USA, after the usual look of pity, I grabbed my Bible during service and wrote: "Though my womb be empty, I refuse to let be filled with a root of bitterness. Though I be barren, out of my belly will flow rivers of living water" . One month later we received "The Call" from New Beginnings in Tupelo!! When I wrote that, my miracle was already in existence! My son was born a little more than 30 days later!
When my son was placed in my arms at 9 days old, 3 years only felt like 3 weeks. He filled empty spots inside of me I had long ignored, my own child at last!
Recently we decided to try our hand at foster care. We went against all of our original stipulations and accepted a teenage boy, even though what we really wanted was an elementary age child.
Regardless, things (mainly finances) fell into place weeks prior to this call and felt like it was the Lords will.
He bonded wonderfully with my husband but rejected me at every turn. After so much rejection an old friend of mine came to visit...infertility. I remember crying to my husband, is it me? Do I expect too much? All I wanted was a child to nurture and love, I sobbed at the stark reminder that I had a hunger to nurture and the physical incapability to produce.
We offered adoption to this young man, but he chose another home. As for me, I went back to my anchor, The Word. I am reminded that it is normal and o.k. to long for children. "
... "There are three things that are never satisfied, four that never say, 'Enough!':the grave, the barren womb, land, which is never satisfied with water, and fire, which never says, 'Enough!' Proverbs 30:15,16
I am still full of hope and thankfulness as I watch my adopted son grow into a wonderful young man. I admire his brown hair and dark brown almost black eyes, a sharp contrast to our black hair and light brown eyes. The Word says that he doesn't withhold any good thing from those who walk uprightly". Psalms 84:11 (paraphrase mine)
I am thankful that the Lord has allowed my husband and I to adopt once as we continue to pursue a second adoption. We can be confident that no matter where we find ourselves on this journey, the Father directs our steps as long as we keep walking! Keep walking, your miracle is in the works!
"They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest." Psalm 126:6 NLT
www.newbeginningsadoptions.org/
This thought came to me after watching the Odd life of Timothy Green. A far fetched but thought provoking movie about a couple wanting to adopt. I say it's far fetched because my husband and have gone through 4 different agencies and know good and well that one of the most important parts of the application and interview process is the part where they make sure you're not crazy. I'm pretty sure this couple would have been turned away.
When the movie ended my mind was in a whirlwind and I came to the conclusion that maybe it was not so far fetched. When you bury your broken dreams and pain in the soil of Gods will, you will eventually reap a miracle. If we can box all of hurts and dreams up and bury them in Gods plan for our life we will reap, it may not be what we had envisioned, but He will give us a harvest.
Our first foster child had just come and gone and the wound was still fresh, my feelings still raw, yet I knew in this season that God was with me. I have come to a new understanding about infertility through this emotional journey and it is the conclusion that infertility cannot be resolved. It's a question we have answered on many adoption applications. I've always answered yes, but now I believe that it cannot be resolved, only forgotten.
Forgotten that is until some destined event brings it up. It happened for me 11 years we adopted our son. Caleb came to us after 3 long years of being on a waiting list. We had been traveling through the U.S. on our missionary furlough.
Weekly, well meaning Pastors wives, trying to make small talk would ask how many children we had, then they would ask how long we've been married followed by the inevitable look of pity.
One week at church somewhere in the USA, after the usual look of pity, I grabbed my Bible during service and wrote: "Though my womb be empty, I refuse to let be filled with a root of bitterness. Though I be barren, out of my belly will flow rivers of living water" . One month later we received "The Call" from New Beginnings in Tupelo!! When I wrote that, my miracle was already in existence! My son was born a little more than 30 days later!
When my son was placed in my arms at 9 days old, 3 years only felt like 3 weeks. He filled empty spots inside of me I had long ignored, my own child at last!
Recently we decided to try our hand at foster care. We went against all of our original stipulations and accepted a teenage boy, even though what we really wanted was an elementary age child.
Regardless, things (mainly finances) fell into place weeks prior to this call and felt like it was the Lords will.
He bonded wonderfully with my husband but rejected me at every turn. After so much rejection an old friend of mine came to visit...infertility. I remember crying to my husband, is it me? Do I expect too much? All I wanted was a child to nurture and love, I sobbed at the stark reminder that I had a hunger to nurture and the physical incapability to produce.
We offered adoption to this young man, but he chose another home. As for me, I went back to my anchor, The Word. I am reminded that it is normal and o.k. to long for children. "
... "There are three things that are never satisfied, four that never say, 'Enough!':the grave, the barren womb, land, which is never satisfied with water, and fire, which never says, 'Enough!' Proverbs 30:15,16
I am still full of hope and thankfulness as I watch my adopted son grow into a wonderful young man. I admire his brown hair and dark brown almost black eyes, a sharp contrast to our black hair and light brown eyes. The Word says that he doesn't withhold any good thing from those who walk uprightly". Psalms 84:11 (paraphrase mine)
I am thankful that the Lord has allowed my husband and I to adopt once as we continue to pursue a second adoption. We can be confident that no matter where we find ourselves on this journey, the Father directs our steps as long as we keep walking! Keep walking, your miracle is in the works!
"They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest." Psalm 126:6 NLT
www.newbeginningsadoptions.org/
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