Open adoption vs. Closed adoption

Open Adoption

    
      In short, Open adoptions are well, open. Open to "the other family". Some open adoptions allow the birthmother and adoptive mother to form close relationships, attending doctors visits and choosing baby names together. Some begin after birth and can be as much as playdates and weekend visits to as little as greeting cards on holidays.

     Each state has different laws and standards. Remember adoption plans are usually made under desperate circumstances, people in the birth family may be "good people" but their lifestyles and parenting styles may not reflect your own. Depending on your or the childs personality this can be both bad and good. There is a lot of room for comparison and all the "what ifs". You are opening yourself up for others opinions, solicited or not. Then again, this can also be a good reinforcer for both parent and child to see that indeed adoption was the best choice.
    
      Personally because I have witnessed open adoption all my life, I chose closed adoptions, thats what fits my personality and my family history. We all view life through different windows, the view might be different from yours!

 

Closed Adoption
   
     Closed adoptions are not permanently closed. My first son was adopted and birth. We chose a wonderful agency in Tupelo, Mississippi. When we went to meet Caleb for the first time our adoption facilitator handed us an envelope...it was full of pictures. Pictures from his birth, getting cleaned up in the hospital and his wonderful foster mother took a picture of him every day until we went to pick him up! My son has the option to seek for his mother after he turns 18, until then there is no communication and never will be unless my son decides to initiate it.

     For me personally this has been the best choice. I believe it brings stability to both child and parent. I know there will always be questions but c'est la vie!