International vs. Domestic adoption

Once you arrive to the place where you decide to adopt there are so many choices. Open or closed adoption, do I want a child that looks like me or am I willing to adopt transracially? That decision brings you to the next question, international or domestic?


     International adoption can be an exciting memorable journey for you and your family. Usually costs are a little higher for international adoptions compared to domestic. Most agencies do not include travel expenses in their fees so make sure to ask. I have a few friends who have adopted internationally and their babies are good, well rounded and confident "tweens" now. Ask questions and make sure you and your spouse are on the same page. Here are a few things to consider:
  • What is our budget, limit, ceiling of expense (including overseas travel)
  • Does "Have passport will travel" describe you or does the thought of a foreign land make you nauseous? Don't worry; there are escorts who will bring your children to you (for an additional fee).
  • If you decide to travel abroad make sure you have enough vacation or FMLA to cover it. Some trips can take 2 weeks to 2 months!
  • Remember your child more than likely will NOT speak English; it would be nice to learn a few phrases and look into churches or groups of your child's culture.
  • Children in "orphanages" may be undernourished, used to sleeping alone or in a room full of kids, ask questions and read, read, read!
  • Most adoption agencies have great support groups, take advantage of them!!


     Domestic adoption was our personal choice for a few different reasons, costs being the primary factor. Our first adoption was through a wonderful agency
in Tupelo, MS. They worked with us in every aspect; it seemed like we waited forever but once they placed my baby in my arms 3 years felt like 3 months! So very worth the wait!! They also presented us with an envelope full of pictures of our son's birth! He also had a wonderful foster mothers who took a picture of him every day that she had him and presented them to me when we met, so I have a picture of him for every day up until the day we met!!
     Our second and current adoption is through who works hand in hand with our home state. It is an older child adoption although the process is still long (we are at 1.5 years now) the benefit of living and working at home and not having to travel is immense! We chose an older child this time because, well we are older and since I've already had the pleasure of diapers and midnight feedings and potty training I am choosing to opt out!! Hey, if God chose us to do this special work called adoptive parenting there are some perks! Here are some things to consider:
  • What age do we want, babies=diapers, teens=hormones. What can you handle? Be real, you (not extended friends and family) will get to live with your children every morning, noon and night!
  • Open or closed adoption?
  • Special needs? How special, (older children are considered special needs). Autism? How severe? Delays? How severe? Ask questions and educate yourself!
  • What nationality? What kind of community do you live in? Will friends and family be open or will it be hard for a child to fit in?


Popular Posts