Turbulent Transitions in Foster Care and Life
Foster son #2 is with us now. He is 5...the last placement was 13. What a difference in age. Many times I have mumbled to myself that I am too old for this (a mere 40 something). This little guy is a tornado but he has brought us such joy. His little one liners and sincere questions always bring on the laughter.
This has been a new experience for us, meeting the biological parents, going to court and hearing all their dirty laundry, the visits, the missed visits. At times it has been hard to control my emotions and opinions. My fellow foster mom has helped me in so many ways, mainly by sharing her story. In a nutshell, she and her husband felt like God wanted them to foster and when they accepted the call she told me this, "I clearly heard God tell me, you respect those parents, at least they didn't abort them". Wow, respect, after all they have done to these poor kids? O.k. Lord teach me, then he shows me the mirror. I've messed up more than I care to ever admit and I stand today only by Gods grace and mercy, and since He is not a respecter of persons, He extends them the same grace and mercy.
Mercy is a powerful thing, it gives second chances, it doesn't erase the past but says, "here, let me show you a better way". That is what our wonderful agency has done in teaching and equipping this parent to clean up, sober up and stand up on his own. In the end, we witness the true miracle of grace, a family restored.
Which brings us to the present transition. Transition has almost become a dirty word to me until this week. Transition has always been a long, slow, tedious stretch of waiting, desiring yet not attaining.
This weekend little man had his first unsupervised visit. He went HOME to his family for an entire day. Something he has desired and repeatedly asked for. At the end of the visit his brothers and father were all smiles, he had many stories to tell until...we all started loading up in different cars. He began to meltdown quick as he realized that he was coming home with us and not his dad. I could almost see all the little talks, words spelled out, letters quickly being sucked down the drain of despair.
His father had to put him in my car and buckle him up as the rage came on. Kicking, crying and screaming for 30 minutes. By the end we were all in tears, this includes my 13 yr. old son with autism. Supposedly kids with autism do not have empathy towards others, I beg to differ, they do, they just display it differently.
We all calmed down and purchased cokes, chocolate milk, and cookies then we prayed.
The next day we went to church and God began to open my mind. I had to pull the car over the previous day to explain to my 13 year old that our foster son was in transition. He IS going home. Just not now. These visits are all a part of the fruition of his desire. Unfortunately no book, talk or explanation can get our little guy to comprehend this. Are we not all the same?
How many times have we stood in the parking lot of transition, slowly melting down and ending up kicking and screaming because once again we have not received what we want. God is a God of order, He always has a plan and usually that plan takes some time. So don't give up, keep coming back to the Father because He is going to give you the desire of your heart! This is just a little transition and in a few short months your desires will be fulfilled. The "pockets of blessings" you have been allowed to see have been those like these new unsupervised visits my foster son is attending. Don't stop now, you are almost home!
"See I am doing a NEW thing, now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert an streams in the wasteland" Isaiah 43:19
This has been a new experience for us, meeting the biological parents, going to court and hearing all their dirty laundry, the visits, the missed visits. At times it has been hard to control my emotions and opinions. My fellow foster mom has helped me in so many ways, mainly by sharing her story. In a nutshell, she and her husband felt like God wanted them to foster and when they accepted the call she told me this, "I clearly heard God tell me, you respect those parents, at least they didn't abort them". Wow, respect, after all they have done to these poor kids? O.k. Lord teach me, then he shows me the mirror. I've messed up more than I care to ever admit and I stand today only by Gods grace and mercy, and since He is not a respecter of persons, He extends them the same grace and mercy.
Mercy is a powerful thing, it gives second chances, it doesn't erase the past but says, "here, let me show you a better way". That is what our wonderful agency has done in teaching and equipping this parent to clean up, sober up and stand up on his own. In the end, we witness the true miracle of grace, a family restored.
Which brings us to the present transition. Transition has almost become a dirty word to me until this week. Transition has always been a long, slow, tedious stretch of waiting, desiring yet not attaining.
This weekend little man had his first unsupervised visit. He went HOME to his family for an entire day. Something he has desired and repeatedly asked for. At the end of the visit his brothers and father were all smiles, he had many stories to tell until...we all started loading up in different cars. He began to meltdown quick as he realized that he was coming home with us and not his dad. I could almost see all the little talks, words spelled out, letters quickly being sucked down the drain of despair.
His father had to put him in my car and buckle him up as the rage came on. Kicking, crying and screaming for 30 minutes. By the end we were all in tears, this includes my 13 yr. old son with autism. Supposedly kids with autism do not have empathy towards others, I beg to differ, they do, they just display it differently.
We all calmed down and purchased cokes, chocolate milk, and cookies then we prayed.
The next day we went to church and God began to open my mind. I had to pull the car over the previous day to explain to my 13 year old that our foster son was in transition. He IS going home. Just not now. These visits are all a part of the fruition of his desire. Unfortunately no book, talk or explanation can get our little guy to comprehend this. Are we not all the same?
How many times have we stood in the parking lot of transition, slowly melting down and ending up kicking and screaming because once again we have not received what we want. God is a God of order, He always has a plan and usually that plan takes some time. So don't give up, keep coming back to the Father because He is going to give you the desire of your heart! This is just a little transition and in a few short months your desires will be fulfilled. The "pockets of blessings" you have been allowed to see have been those like these new unsupervised visits my foster son is attending. Don't stop now, you are almost home!
"See I am doing a NEW thing, now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert an streams in the wasteland" Isaiah 43:19
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